• What happens amongst Muslims when a husband wishes to divorce his wife ?

    Well, let me share with you two incidents that I know about.

    Incident number one-

    A young Pakistani girl from Hazara district was married to a successful surgeon who was living in the West. The husband went to Pakistan , got married and returned with his wife. 3 months passed by and one day the wife was sent back to Pakistan.

    2 days later , the surgeon got together with two other physicians of impeccable reputation in the Muslim community, they filled the Islamic Divorce papers, signed and witnessed by the other two physicians and those documents were sent to the girl’s family in Pakistan. End of story.

    No attempt for reconciliation. Not attempt for due process.

    Incident number two-

    I have reported this incident on a blog previously- so I shall be brief.

    Mr.X wanted to divorce his wife with one child but wanted to keep the child.

    He was also living in one of the Western countries.

    He wanted to have an Islamic Divorce because if he did it in the West he would have to pay the wife financial support and child support. So he told her 3 times that he had divorced her and Well he divorced her in Pakistan while he was still in the West.

    Refused to pay Mehr or child support. The matter is in Sharia court in Pakistan but the child still is with his ex-wife.

    Divorce like marriage in Islam is a civil contract without any religious sanction or significance.

    But what happens is that the girl (wife) ends up always getting the short end of the stick. Her life is ruined and she has to live with the stigma of having been divorced.

    If she lives in Islamabad or Karachi- and wishes to work other men look at her as EASY game.

    Her children if any are taken away from her( when they are 7 years old).

    Most of the times no financial restitution is provide or even demanded by the society.

    Can you comment in this evil ?

    I hope you do but please spare me about what Islam says or does not say- Tell me what is happening and why?

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  • what happens in MUSLIMS...x, y, z is theme of work, finding evil is the expertise, using terms like Islamic Divorce or Islamic form, or Islamic x, y, z, yet when muslims point out to root causes and real teachings of islam we find 'evil finder' alleging people diverting the subject :)

  • Salam-

    Evil finder ? or Mirror finder!

  • evil finder only, not a mirror finder because a person who wants to show mirror has purpose of correcting a weakness, fixing something, has a solution in mind, where as evil finder is only wanting comments for his business or line of work, i think this is what you do for living, you are not even a pakistani yet what brings your so much interest in that country?

  • my experience tell me that such evil is very very common in pakistan. nobody care if life of young lady is spoiled only for ill will of a man. a divorced lady in pakistan is treated as criminal even sometime by her parents. the evil of beating and abusing wife with out any reason is also very common.

    trend of boys living abroad to marry girl from pakistan is common. but mostly there intention is to keep girl for little time and then look for other.

    i know a case where a very poor innocent girl is divorce after 8 months for reason why she not become pregnent. that innocent poor girl involved in prostitution to earn livelihood for her family. many people know about it but nobody is ashamed of out behavior to women. many such cases also come on our media.

    i know another case where husband divorce her wife. she has 5 children. but husband not giving any money for his children. the poor wife doing job and supporting children with very very difficulty.

    so i say this evil is very very common in our society but no one care.

    the reason is woman are treated as commodity not as human being. they are believed as naqisul aqal commodity. woman have no rights in our society. it is really very bad

  • We do not have women suffering due to divorce in Indionesia ,the Middle East and African countries that have Muslim populations.

    Perhaps morons forget to mention todays Pakistan (and Bangladesh) were carved out of the subcontinent when Muslims were influenced by hindu rituals in their everyday lives.

    Divorce and remarriage is not at all taboo in the Middle East. In Pakistan yes and that also in some not all of the cases.

  • Achtung-

    I can only say thanks for looking at the evil as it is.

  • Salam-

    your quote- " i think this is what you do for living, "

    You are wrong in this assertion too. Let us just say that I am surgeon for the last 47 years.

    About your other quote- " you are not even a pakistani " wrong again.

    But great attempt at trying to discredit the messenger when you are having difficulty dealing with the message which is based on truth as Achtung said.

    Since you have established your bona fides - no further comment is needed any more.


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  • @Shimatoree..

    What is the percentage of divorce in K-P or in Pakistan? Do you have any figure or idea?

    As regards to the divorce procedure: In ISlam (as per my knowledge) if you say Talaq to a woman 3 times... that pretty much ends your marital relationship with the woman. There are clear guidelines about the custody of kids and their Naan nutfa. If some one doesn't agree or stick to the guidelines, then you can't blame the religion for that. In Islam, killing of a human being is like a killing of humanity..... but just in Pakistan, we kill on an average 20 to 100 people every day... (Target killing, Suicide blasts, non-religious Murders in society as in Sialkot incidence, Police operations, Army Operations etc....) so shall we also blame ISLAM just like our friends and masters from the west???? I think, it's very unfair...

  • Khan Sahib-

    I am not and will not blame my religion Islam for that at all.

    As to your question about the percentage of divorce in Khyber-Pukhtunkhawah- it is small but the FATE faced by the women in case of divorce is a great deterent and social Taboo-( Pushtoon society) is another. But if you ask about speration where the girl goes to her parents home and lives there for the rest of her life- then it is quite high.

    If your question is about comparison with the West- obviously there is no comparison but part of that reason is because the girls in pakistan( or K-P) do not have economic independence.

    Of course what I AM saying is that people who claim to be Muslims are not following the edicts of Islam while continuing to hide behind it.

    I am am not a scholar but I do know exactly the edicts of Islam in this event of human life. The two incidents that I quoted the gentlemen who divorced their wives did not follow the recommendations put forth by Islamic Law but used the technicalities to their own advantage. And there was no one to challenge them about that. Furthermore they were supported by their communities in their trickery.

    My purpose on this thread is to initiate a discussion of the evils that lurk in our society. I merely quoted 2 incidents that I know for sure. I am sure these were not isolated incidents as Achtung's comment indicates

  • shimatoree

    you claimed that you are a surgeon who performs surgery on his patients to fix problems, but your activities here run contrary to a role of surgeon as I have never found you doing what a surgeon suppose to do-

    you said yourself that you don't understand or speak urdu, then either you never lived in pakistan or not a pakistani or a highly educated pakistani who doesn't know urdu that is the strangest person i would have seen-

    nothing personal my dear, it is just the pattern that i am trying establish that you exhibit-

    when a john doe commits a sin it is presented as a john doe's problem but when a MUSLIM FATHER commits a sin then it is presented as a Muslim problem because he went against Islamic XYZ and people are asked to comment on Muslim's problem, why?

  • Salam-

    your quote-

    "you said yourself that you don't understand or speak urdu, "

    That is false quote .

    I simply cannot read urdu but I do speak it. And I have always said that.

    And as to what surgeons do- how would you know.

  • @Shimatoree ,

    read the translation of Surah e Nisa .

    you will get the answers of your questions regarding Divorce .


  • "We need to take out our heads and smell the $hit we are in."

    Note:The following has nothing to do with the topic of divorce but just the quoted bit of the comment...

    I have used the example previously of a Dung Beetle. Does a Dung Beetle know the predicament it is in? "The Dung Beetle is instinctive in its purpose and behaviour. It is attracted to the scent of excreta. It knows and acknowledges nothing else."

    "I've Been Down so Long (it Looks Like up to me)" -- Nancy Sinatra


  • shimatoree

    come on, you said it here on this forum that you only understand pushto or english in response to a member who wrote in urdu, please don't make me dig up on that :)

    that is what precisely you said and i remember that well-

    i know that surgeons at least don't have time to take humanities classes at syracuse university :)